Sunday, January 18, 2015

What is a BFD?

Normally I write about physical health and fitness, but today I have decided to focus on mental health. Blogging has been a real outlet for me over the past year of grieving and I thought today would be the perfect day to admit that I am not perfect and the subtle art of realizing what is and what is not a BFD (big fucking deal). Before my dad passed away, I thought EVERYTHING was a BFD because I was a perfectionist and a control freak. It has taken me over a year to be able to admit this, but I was and a part of me still is. Through my grief counseling and learning what works for me in times of high stress, I have been able to really increase my ability of not giving a fuck. Please refer to this amazing article by Mark Manson,  what he explains in this really inappropriate article is how to stop letting the LITTLE things control your life. I know these are intense and probably offensive words for some readers, but I don't think anything less would get my point across. I mean I'm not perfect and I still overreact a lot, but I have gotten way better. I know a lot of people out there that were just like me, so I feel that most of you can relate to what I am saying. I have decided to break down what actually are BFDs and what are not. In my opinion anyways.

BFDs:
1. Life or death situations
2. Losing your job (or your health insurance..thank you ACA)
3. Losing a loved one
4. Terminal illness
5. I literally am just staring at this one because I think those are the only true BFDs in life.

NOT a BFD:
1. Being single
2. Your cable not working
3. Your car not starting
4. Being treated like shit by someone (because you can control that, 100%)
5. Your dog pissing on the floor
6. Running your car into a dumpster because your dog threw up on you
7. Missing a workout
8. Having an off day with your diet
9. Being stuck in traffic

Am I making my point clear? If not, please email me for a much more detailed list. tabearden@gmail.com

I MEAN PEOPLE THERE ARE KIDS THAT AREN'T BEING FED EVERYDAY BECAUSE THERE PARENTS WOULD RATHER FEED THEIR CRACK HABIT THAN THEIR BABIES...I mean in hindsight, most of us do not have it bad.

The point of this post was that I noticed myself reverting back into old ways, making things a BFD that were by no means even close to being one. I noticed what I had worked so hard to stop doing (being a control freak, type A perfectionist), was rearing it's ugly head so I gave myself the proverbial slap in the face and decided to check myself.


When I met Tony Horton, I thanked him for giving me such a positive way to grieve (P90x3) that led to so many amazing things. He told me you have to not only take care of your body, but your mind. In that same weekend I ended a toxic relationship, got a new outlook on life, and started practicing gratitude. I started to work on not keeping things bottled up inside (still hard for me, but I am working on it and that's what is important). I don't expect to be rewarded for improving my flaws, but I am proud of them so I will continue to talk about them because you know what, they make me HAPPY and PROUD of myself.


So the point of this post is to not sweat the small stuff. If someone is mean to you, you're an adult, address it and determine if it's worth continuing. If it's not, move on there are EIGHT MILLION PEOPLE in the world, someone is going to want you for everything you are. DO NOT stress about the little things, most of life's "struggles" are easy fixes, sometimes we just need to ask for help, I know that's not easy but I've learned in the last year asking for help is the best thing you can ever do. I hope that this post did if anything, helped you realize that don't let someone or some circumstance ruin your entire day. You know why? Because that person is probably an asshole and your problem (unless it's under the BFD list) is an easy fix. You may not get a tomorrow, so don't spend time wasting your day worrying about people or circumstances that aren't going to do the same for you.

Take care of your body, but remember, always take care of your mind.

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